3 Tricks to Giving Blow Job That Won’t Wake Up Your Roommate

We all know Katie is going to be passive-aggressive all week if she doesn’t get enough sleep for her 8AM.

Managing a relationship in college can be tough, especially if your roommate is a cock block. Carving out time to give your boyfriend a blowjob can be hard work, but here are a few tricks to help satisfy your man while also keeping your roommate happy.

Spike Katie’s sleepy time tea with a mild horse tranquilizer
If you want to make sure Katie doesn’t wake up when you’re playing the skin flute, drop a little ketamine in her mug. This will ensure she doesn’t hear a thing!

Continually whisper to your guy, “if you moan one more time I’ll tell your whole fraternity that your little sister runs your fantasy team!”
If your boyfriend is getting a little too excited about your knob-slobbing skills, shut him up by saying this one line. He will be so terrified that you’ll spoil his last shot at make-believe gridiron glory that he’ll zip his lips immediately.

Fuck Katie!
If none of those tricks seem to work, forget Katie’s need for sleep and keep slurpin’ the gherkin’. She may be upset that she only got 3 hours of REM, but you satisfied your man. Sometimes we have to make sacrifices, Katie!

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