6 Signs You Desperately Wish You Were A Wine Snob

Have you ever gone to wine tasting parties and gotten confused by your friends’ notes on a bottle of Riesling? After your friend comments on how it tastes like apples with a hint of pear, you freak out not knowing how to respond. So you reply by saying it tastes like Ocean’s Spray mixed with urine.

You obviously have no idea what you’re talking about, but you wish more than anything that you knew as much about wine as your annoying friend Heather. But don’t fret, we have you covered! Here are 6 signs that you desperately wish you were a wine snob:

1. You pour a bottle of White Zinfandel into an empty Chardonnay wine bottle from France because you think they taste the same.

2. You believe Trader Joe’s has a selection of high quality wine at a bargain price of $1.99 because you lost your taste buds drinking the fruity gasoline.

3. You only tried Pinot Noir once because it sounded like a classy wine on “Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt”. You never drank it again because you hate grapes and they lied about it during the song. They really never described the wine. They only said words that rhymed with wine to make themselves sound smart and you’re furious that they tricked you.

4. You have always wanted to try a nice glass of Chianti, but you are too scared to do so. Instead, you order a Bud Light because beer makes you look cool.

5. On New Year’s Eve, you always pull out a shoddy bottle of Brut Sparkling Wine from Costco because you secretly can’t afford champagne. Hopefully no one who comes to your party will notice, if they even come at all.

6. The only person you rely for the finest wine in the world is the clerk who works at your local  bodega. Secretly he gives you Sutter Home wine with the label ripped off because it’s been in his store forever and he seriously needs to restock.


If you’ve done any of these, its obvious you desperately wish you knew more about wine, but unfortunately you just don’t. So next time, why not try a nice bottle of Barefoot Moscato?* Goes great with Chinese takeout & depression!

*This Article is sponsored by Barefoot. Get Barefoot and Have a Great Time™.

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