6 Steps to Cut Out Of Your Beauty Routine That’ll Have People Asking ‘Do You Feel Okay?’

 Looking ‘passable’ and ‘normal’ by society’s near-impossible standards takes work. Women wake up extra early each morning to put in effort to meet these norms, yet it’s only when they are not met that anyone pays attention. And we can all agree that attention of any kind is a wonderful, wonderful thing. Putting hours into hair and makeup each morning garners no comment from coworkers, but coming in looking like you just rolled out of bed is sure to catch everyone’s eye. If comments on your looks from your coworkers is something you’re after, here are a few surefire ways to get people talking.

 

Sleep in. This one is simple. Why wake up an hour before you need to leave just to do your hair? Use that time for a little extra sleep! Or, if you’re a naturally early riser, use that time to make pancakes, or to stare out your front window with a warm cup of coffee, trying to catch a glimpse of your hot neighbor as he leaves for work. Whatever you do, don’t use that time to get ready. When you show up to work with untouched, unkempt hair your coworkers are sure to ask, “Are you okay?! Did something happen on your way in? Were you attacked?”

 

Ditch the makeup. All of it. Forget it all (except concealer because no one wants to see your giant PMS-induced cystic zit, that’s just nasty). This is a foolproof way to get your coworkers asking, “Uh-oh, are you coming down with something? Is it contagious? I have a wedding to go to this weekend, I cannot get sick.” Sure, many women enjoy wearing makeup, enjoy the process of applying it, and enjoy the total sense of self-confidence it gives them. But so what? If you want guaranteed attention from coworkers, go in looking like your natural self, and let the concern roll in.

 

Don’t shower. This is an easy tweak to your daily routine. If part of your morning routine is showering, try simply not doing that! This is a great change for a couple of reasons: one, you’re saving water and therefore saving the environment. Two, you’re saving money on soap and shampoo and razors. Showing up to work with a natural musk and an oily face will pull in at least one “is the water off in your building?” from a concerned coworker.

 

Skip the moisturizer. These harsh winter months require an extra dose of shea butter in the morning to ensure a smooth, flawless, babydoll look. But lathering on handfull after handfull of lotion takes time, so skip it. Show up to work ashy and cracking, and get coworkers offering unsolicited tips on drinking more water and investing in a humidifier.

 

Throw away your tweezers. If grooming those stray brow, chin, and cheek hairs that pop up overnight is part of your AM ritual, drop it. Why strain your eyes searching for little hairs when you could be straining your eyes watching one more episode of the new season of Black Mirror before work? This’ll grant you an “Oh…you’re going for kind of a Lorde look, huh?” from coworkers, which is honestly an honor.

 

Go for glasses. If you’re a contact lense wearer, you know jabbing those little plastic disks into your eyes each morning can be time consuming. So don’t bother. On your way out the door just throw on your trusted glasses. Coworkers will ask, “Oh were your contacts bothering you? It’s pretty dry in here. You should just try eye drops, then you won’t ever have to wear your glasses.” The subtle implication that you look better without glasses is better than no attention at all!

 

Obviously any effort you currently put into your look is to please those around you and to elicit attention and comments. But it’s clear that skipping the effort and going for the natural look is the real way to get people talking. Make these small cuts to your morning routine, and you’ll be hearing “Do you feel okay?” more times than you can count!

(photo credit)

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *