8 DIY Vibrator Disguises for When You Have Unexpected Guests

You’re minding your own business when guests show up unannounced, leaving you panicked about where to stash your vibrating dildo that just so happens to be out. We know the drill. It’s every girl’s worst nightmare! Luckily, here at The Pink Canoe we’ve come up with a list of the most convincing vibrator disguises that you can DIY in a pinch, so your guests will be none-the-wiser that they interrupted you jilling off.

 

1) Repurpose your vibrator as a bedside lamp post when not in use.

It’s hip, it’s sneaky, and best of all, it’s environmentally conscious – that’s right, you’re recycling! Your guests will be blown away when they see your trendy lamp that looks like it came straight from Pinterest, but also somehow makes them think of dick.

 

2) Turn it into a healthy, stealthy vegetable!

Thought you’d just throw your vibrator in the fridge and no one would notice it? Think again! Your guests might seek a snack. Luckily, you’ll be prepared. Simply slip a green condom over your vibrator and toss it in the vegetable drawer. Voila: zucchini!

 

3) Flaunt it!

Where’s the least fishy place to hide something you don’t want found? Right in the middle of the room where everyone can see it, of course! Dip your vibrator in liquid adhesive and then into a bowl of sequins. Hang it in the very center of the room as a prominently-featured yet oddly-shaped disco ball! No one will suspect a thing.

 

4) Leave it vibrating in your toothbrush holder.

When the sound of rattling carries out of your bathroom, announce to your unwitting guests that you must’ve left your electric toothbrush on. This will signal to your visitors that although you may be a little forgetful, you’re an oral hygiene fiend!

 

5) Nail it to your front door frame as an indie mezuzah.

Everyone loves a good Hebrew verse, so your guests will be thrilled when they see a very believable scroll poking out of the battery slot of your perfectly realistic vibrator mezuzah.

 

6) Cover it in dirt and slobber, and BLAMO: dog toy!

Leave your filthy vibrator in the entryway so your guests have to step over it. Make sure to act surprised when you shout “Dammit, Buster, look what a mess you made!” Don’t have a dog? No problem! You can easily DIY one of those using pillows, hot glue, and whatever’s in the shower drain.

 

7) Slap a mustache and glasses on it, and invite it in for a beer as just another one of your guests.

We think the whole group will get along splendidly! And your guests will be ecstatic to meet such a worldly and traveled young gentleman.

 

8) As a last resort, hide it in nature’s safe.

If you haven’t quite got the time to craft a DIY disguise for your little friend before company arrives, you can always use nature’s best hiding spot: your vagina! It makes an ideal safe where you can store your vibrator until after your unsuspecting visitors have come and gone. Warning: leaving your vibrator on while concealing it in this manner may arouse suspicion.

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