Does Anyone Even Care That I’m Doing a Juice Cleanse?

So far, I’ve gotten like zero compliments.

This opinion piece was submitted by reader Blair Fallon.

After the holidays, I decided I would do a five-day juice cleanse to get back on track with my health. After spending $300 on juices that tasted like an Arby’s truck stop bathroom, I thought I would receive praise for my tireless efforts. But it’s already been three days, and I haven’t even gotten a text message or snapchat from a friend saying “Hey Blair! You’re doing something really brave, and I’m so proud of you!”

At first, I thought maybe I just wasn’t working hard enough. Sure, I’d started a juice cleanse, but had I really done enough to get the word out about my journey? That’s when I decided to take the rest of the week off from my job at Anthropologie and fully dedicate my time to documenting the cleanse.

The first day I got my photographer friend Stefan to take some professional shots of the juices I had bought. I wanted to make sure I could get the highest quality pics for my Instagram.

Then, I made sure to frequent places I knew I would see friends, so I could brag about what I was doing. I spent about four hours wandering the aisles of Whole Foods running into old work acquaintances, ex-boyfriends, and girls I hate but wanted to impress. After that, I invited friends out to a tapas bar, where I would have the perfect excuse to explain why I wasn’t eating and slip in my bit about the cleanse.

While it was a tiring effort, I finally got some recognition, albeit minimal, for my work. Even though it was only a “that’s pretty cool!” here and there, at least I was getting attention.

I guess juice cleanses just aren’t that cool anymore. Maybe I’ll try getting my yoga teacher certification next, that will give them something to talk about.

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