Astronomers Discover New Constellation Within Amber’s Back Pimples

It’s an exciting day for the astronomy community. A graduate student at the Massachusetts Institute of Technology has discovered a rare new constellation…within Amber Cleary’s back pimples.

After Amber posted a picture in a bikini from a recent trip to Florida,  Mike Hawkins noticed something scientifically astonishing on her back side.

“At first, I was just trying to check out her booty,” said Mike, “but after zooming in closer, I immediately called my research team to tell them what I had come across.”

The constellation, which astronomers have known about but been able to locate for decades, has been named Reversusque Rapulae (which means bacne in Latin).

When Amber found out that her blemishes had spurred a scientific revelation, she was defensive.

“I rarely ever get back zits,” said Amber. “I’ve been under a lot of stress at my job. I also started using a new shampoo, so that could be it?”

MIT is set to present their new findings at the Astronomers Society of North America conference this June.

As for Amber, she’s still searching for advice on how to get rid of her bacne. She has a wedding next week and really wants to wear a backless dress.

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