Breaking the Glass Ceiling? This Woman Just Scratched Her Pubes During a Work Presentation

With gender equality in the workplace seeming nearly impossible these days, many women are becoming disgruntled. But just when we thought all hope was lost, something incredible happened. Last Tuesday, in the middle of a super important work presentation, Catherine Burton stuck her hands in her pants and scratched her pubes. Just like that.

Office execs stared in awe as Catherine did what only men before her had ever done.

“What she did was groundbreaking,” says one of the six female employees Evelyn Bowers. “To just stick her hands in her clam at work? I usually duck behind a trash can or run into a Dunkin Donuts bathroom to do that.”

Catherine, who’d worked at Grayson and Grayson for eight years now, has put in a  tireless effort to make partner. But despite her best efforts and outstanding qualifications, Catherine continued to fly under the radar of the men at the company.

“I’m smarter than all of these bags of dicks,” said Catherine. “So I decided, if I couldn’t beat them, then I’d join them.”

Right in the middle of a creative brief that she and her team had worked on for months, Catherine decided to do the unthinkable: to stick her hands down the front of her trousers and go to town.

The men in the room gawked while the other women started clapping. So inspired by her own act of defiance against the patriarchy, Catherine started man-spreading at her desk. She even started harassing their new male intern. It was clear now that Catherine wouldn’t be left out of the boys club any longer.

While unfortunately Catherine’ stunt didn’t end up making her partner, the fact that scratched her pubes during a work presentation means we’re one step closer to closing the gender pay gap. That, or she has crabs.

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