Conflict Resolution Skills for Dealing With Your Bra

Bras are a necessary evil of the modern world. Those who dare to go without one outside the confines of a music festival are met with at best dirty looks and at worst, death (I’m sure). Here are a few practices to keep in mind for the days when it feels like your bra is strangling you from the inside.

 

Have confidence

If I learned anything from the show What Not to Wear, it’s “wear the clothes – don’t let the clothes wear you!” And here too you need to show your bra who’s boss. Sure, the lady at the store adjusted the straps so that everything “fits properly,” but if you suddenly have four shoulders instead of two, it’s worth loosening things up a bit. Does that make your boobs sag a little? Maybe. Is the feeling of not having to take a painkiller to make it through brunch worth it? Definitely.

 

Recognize triggers

If the prospect of happy hour or seeing friends on the weekend immediately has you calculating how much that reduces your braless time, it might be time for an upgrade. Skip the pink, lacy, “sexy” stores and get the bra made custom for buxom Jewish and Italian women. Here, no matter what your size, comfort comes first, which is made apparent from the sea of beige that hits you as you enter said establishment. Here, you won’t find a bra that will drive your partner wild, but your bosoms (the only way you are allowed to refer to them within this universe) will thank you for the tent-like bra that is essentially a sleep number bed for your chest.

 

Consider the other’s position

You know, your bra didn’t ask to be made. It’s not like it’s purposefully trying to hurt you. At least that’s what it wants you to think.

 

Personal reflection

Take time to journal about your relationship with your bra, preferably in the morning, before you put it on, while your thoughts are still fresh. Do we even need bras? Isn’t this just another way for society to hold women back by keeping them slightly uncomfortable all the time? Is this the person I want to be? The answer will be revealed through your writing, and may surprise you.

 

Nonverbal cues

Sometimes, you need to bring a Cesar Millan-level style of discipline to dealing with your bra. When you take it off at the end of a particularly grueling day, underwire marks curiously three inches below where they should be, it’s okay to hurl that bra against the wall or on the floor to assert your dominance. Don’t wear that one for a while to make sure it’s sunk in that what it did was BAD and that type of behavior won’t be rewarded.

 

Creative problem solving

Consider wearing a sweatshirt, or an ample blazer, or maybe just cross your arms in front of your chest?

 

Remember the positives and choose your battles

I mean, sometimes they do what they’re supposed to and then some. #notallbras

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