How to Spend More Time Worrying About His Balls and Less About Your Career

Balancing a career and a boyfriend can be hard work. You may find yourself spending long hours at the office and feeling guilty that you aren’t home fondling your man’s family jewels. But don’t worry! We’ve compiled some tips on how you can spend more time worrying about his balls and less about your career.

Take a sick day and juggle his knackers all afternoon

This is the perfect way to make it clear that his balls are your #1 priority! Call in sick *cough cough* and spend the whole day tugging on his nuts, making sure to pay attention to his rear end too!

Pass up the promotion because you’re too busy manhandling his yam bags

Even though you’ve been wanting this promotion for months, politely decline your boss’ offer by saying you have too many priorities at home. Even though you didn’t explicitly say it was to focus on your BF’s balls, give her the universal wink and she’ll know what you mean!

Steal all the tea bags from the break room so you can practice your technique at your cubicle

During your coffee break, throw as many tea bags as you can in your blazer pocket. When no one’s looking, go full throttle by practicing your tea bagging skills at your desk. To get even more serious, blow off your afternoon presentation and send your man a video of you deepthroating some donut holes.

Quit your job entirely and fully devote 24/7 to his sweaty clappers

If none of these previous tips seem to free up your schedule, quit your job entirely. This may seem severe, but you have to remember that his balls are more important than any career trajectory that you’re on. YOU HAVE TO PLAY WITH HIS BALLS!

One Comment

Leave a Reply

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *