I Decided I Needed Feminism Because My Apple Watch Told Me To Stand Up

As feminists, we all remember the moment we became one. That defining moment of clarity where you said, “yeah, I need feminism.” That moment when you finally woke up and decided that things need to change. No matter what the moment was for you, every one of us has one and it changed our lives.

While most of you probably had this epiphany because of some form of the patriarchy, mine happened because of my new Apple Watch. A feminist story for the digital age. For those of you that aren’t familiar, the Apple Watch has lots of cool features, including one to help you reach your exercise goals. Now, I wasn’t familiar with the device, so I wasn’t expecting what happened next. Here I am, minding my own damn business watching my favorite episode of Sex and the City (I know, I wasn’t a feminist yet!), when I hear a ping from my watch. And there it is, the defining moment of patronization that still appears in my nightmares.

“Time to stand.”

What kind of passive aggressive bullsh*t is this? The stupid piece of technology told me, a perfectly capable independent woman, to stand. I will stand whenever I want, thank you very much! Was this Apple Watch body shaming me? Was Steve Jobs’ dying wish to make sure that future Apple products criticize their female customers?

It was in that moment that my eyes were opened wide. Is this how marginalized women and people feel every day of their lives? Suddenly, I was reading bell hooks, Hillary Clinton, and Malala all at once while also purchasing my own drink at the local bar. And, no, I wasn’t wearing my Apple Watch.

So take that, Apple Watch, I’m a feminist now. And I will also be selling this idea to the writers of Black Mirror as soon as I get their contact information. Hey Siri? What’s Black Mirror’s email?

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