I Survived: How I Recovered After Hearing My Own Drunken Voice In a Snapchat Story

It started like any other Saturday night rager at my coworker Kevin’s house. I was drunk off my ass on Jose Cuervo and screaming the lyrics to Bodak Yellow. I was innocent. I was naive. I didn’t notice the phones recording nearby. I never thought it could happen to me…until it did. 

The next morning, I went on Snapchat. I wanted to see if that weird guy Josh from tech support had landed the flip cup he’d been bragging about all week…but when I clicked on Megan’s story, it wasn’t Josh’s cup that had been flipped. It was my life.

“And I just checked my accounts turns out, I’m rich, I’m rich, I’m rich!” Drunk me slurred off camera. “I put my hand above my hip! I bet yoU DIPDIPDIPDIP!!”

Sure, I was only background noise—but I sounded absolutely horrifying. 

Everyone who works with me knows that I’m the only one who gets down that hard to Cardi B’s chart topping record. No one would ever take me seriously again knowing that it was me in the background of Megan’s video, totally butchering the musical masterpiece.

I knew if I was going to survive, I had to act quick. I penned an emphatic plea to Megan to remove me from this narrative. 

“DELETE IT!!!” 

Dazed and hungover, she asked what I meant. I explained that her video contained a moment capable of destroying my personal brand. 

“What are you even talking about? I thought that was Jenna from sales,” Megan wrote back, clearly oblivious to how truly dumb I sound when I’m white girl wasted.

I survived…because I let Megan tell everyone it was Jenna’s dumb voice in the background instead of mine. I hope this story can inspire women elsewhere that, you too, can recover from your lowest moments.

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