I Tried to Be an Avocado Girl But It Just Sat in My Fridge for a Week

I’ve always wanted to be an avocado girl. I mean who doesn’t?? They’re a trending super food, there’s an emoji for them, everyone puts them on toast, and who doesn’t love to pay an extra 1.80 for guac??? HELLLOOOO! So I finally did it. Here’s my journey  of how I became an avocado girl.


Sunday, I laid in bed until 12:15 then went to brunch with my gal pals. We got mimosas and I ordered avocado toast. I figured, what better way to start my week as an avocado girl?? After brunch, I was pretty drunk on mimosas and decided I should go to Whole Foods to prep for my week. I bought 2 avocados for 8.95. What a steal! I was ready to begin.


Monday morning I was ready to start my avocado week! I knew I didn’t have a sharp knife at work and I didn’t want my avocado to get brown, so I figured I’d use it to make something fun for dinner that night. For lunch I got my usual salad from Sweet Greens and was very full until about 4:00. Then, I broke out my bag of almonds for a snack. When I got home that night I wasn’t very hungry so I just made some soup and told myself I’d have my avocado in the morning!


I woke up CRAVING Special K and fortunately had some in my pantry. Also, I decided I was starting the Whole 30 next week, so I should probably eat some of the carbs I have at home so they don’t tempt me. I was running late for work, so I ran out the door, forgetting my avocado at home. For dinner, I had all the materials for a homemade burrito bowl and I was so excited to make it! I constructed my burrito bowl, sat down, had a lovely dinner while I watched The Real Housewives of Portland and as I was putting away my leftovers, realized I forgot to add my avocado! Oh well, better luck tomorrow.


This morning, I took my avocado out of the fridge and placed it on the counter so I wouldn’t forget it. I was having a great morning, listening to Beyoncé. I wasn’t hungry for breakfast so I just grabbed a granola bar on my way out and forgot my avocado. For lunch I had a smoothie and sandwich. When I got home, I was fully prepared to make a small batch of guacamole, however I couldn’t find the avocado I left on the counter earlier. I made some chicken and ate that instead. As I was getting ready for bed, I was picking up some things and found that my avocado had rolled off the counter and bruised. Fortunately I still had my other one.  


I bought bread on my way home from work Thursday with plans to make avocado toast for dinner. My ex-boyfriend texted me around 4:45 and asked if I could get dinner with him. Well, I’m definitely not one to pass up a free dinner. So Keith took me to dinner instead.


Friday AM I woke up early to make some gourmet avocado toast. I stuck my bread in the toaster, got out a lemon, some red pepper flakes, and salt and my avocado. The toast popped out of the toaster and I cut my avocado open! It was completely black inside and rotten.

So much for being an avocado girl!

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