Is My Roommate Who Is Never Home Changing Her Underwear Daily?

Gina hasn’t come home in weeks. Yes, she pays rent and yes, I like my space, but I have a few questions. Gina, are you changing your underwear?

Let me explain. I know she’s alive. We share our locations with each other and trust me, I watch that shit. I can’t just watch Ladybird and cry to myself if she’s going to walk in at any moment, you know? But Gina, she’s never home. She doesn’t even stop by in the mornings or late at night to grab anything. I know this because if she did, I would have watched Ladybird 60% less than I have.

So it begs the question, what are you doing for underwear? Are you purchasing a new pack from Old Navy every week? Are you washing the same pair in your boyfriends sink every night? Are you straight up commando now?

OR ARE YOU NOT CHANGING YOUR DIRTY UNDERWEAR, GINA?!

Anyways. Miss you girl! Roomie night soon?

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