Is Your Boyfriend Cheating on You? and 5 More Questions Only Your Waitress at Olive Garden Can Answer

Have you ever wondered things like is your boyfriend cheating on you or if you’re making the right career move? Have you had trouble finding the answers to the quintessential questions that plague your mind? Maybe you’ve just been asking the wrong person. We have made a list of five questions that only your waitress at Olive Garden can answer.


Is your boyfriend cheating on you?

Your guy may have been ‘working late’ the last few weeks and doesn’t seem interested in literally anything you have to say. This might leave you wondering if he is cheating on you. You may have asked your dental hygienist, who didn’t have an answer, or your exterminator, who said this was outside his job description. That’s when you have to turn to your waitress at the fine dining establishment Olive Garden. She will have the answer. And the answer is yes, he is definitely cheating on you.


Should you quit your job and backpack across Canada?

You have a sick job which pays A LOT. But lately you feel like something is missing in your life. During a coworker lunch at the Olive Garden located next to a movie theatre in the mall, you must muster up the courage to ask your waitress what she thinks of this dilemma. Only she will know your true destiny, and you shall follow her words carefully.


Has your roommate been stealing your used q-tips for a modern art piece she is working on?

Every time you throw away a q-tip, you might realize they disappear the instant Jess walks into the bathroom. You don’t really care that they are gone, but you just want to know what’s up. This is a scenario that needs the wisen advice of a part-time server at America’s favorite casual dining restaurant.


Does anal sex actually feel good?

Some of your girl friends have told you it feels like sitting on a samurai sword while others have told you that it feels like a welcomed enema. Your boyfriend Mitchell really wants to sneak in your back door, but you’re nervous to try it. Once your waitress sets down your 2000 calorie fettuccine alfredo, whisper your question in her ear. Only then will you know the truth.


Are my parents going to get a divorce?

Susan and Dave have been fighting a lot lately, and Dave even slept on your couch for two weeks when your mom kicked him out. You are concerned that your nuclear family is deteriorating, but not to worry. Your server at Olive Garden has seen the future. She will write the answer down on a napkin which will be hidden at the bottom of the unlimited breadsticks basket.

We hope that you will finally have some clarity on these major questions that have been cluttering your mind. And don’t forget to stop by your local Olive Garden to try their new Five Cheese Ziti Al Forno!

This article has been sponsored by Olive Garden.

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