Kink Alert! How I Torture Myself By Scrolling Through The Following Tab On Instagram

I consider myself a very sex-positive person, but lately it has felt a little boring in the bedroom. It took reading through the Fifty Shades of Grey Wikipedia page over and over for me to realize that I need to explore my sexuality. Some people may opt for BDSM or swinging with other couples, but I discovered something next level. Something that blends eroticism and discomfort. You know how you can get a sensational ~rush~ when a new notification appears on your Instagram? Well what if I told you my kink…is scrolling for hours through the Following tab…

The Following tab is a magical place where you get to see everything your online friends are lurking and commenting on. Oooh yes, this is the voyeurism my body quakes for. If it wasn’t for the Following tab, I would never know that my boyfriend of five years had an affinity for German models with bosoms so large they could fully be mistaken for that lady from the Guinness Book of World Records. I am soaking wet from the sweet unspoken betrayal.

I moan while I hide in the Following tab shadows as I watch my boyfriend comment “Great pic” and “where is this” on countless thots, all born in the year 2006, from around the globe. I cry from the pain and then quickly orgasm from the guilt of knowing that it blurs the line of emotional cheating. What a thrill!

The Following tab rocks my socks like no other. It’s a place where I can see my long term partner, who suddenly isn’t open to the idea of marriage, throw hearts on all my acquaintances’ posts. I’d recommend giving it a shot if other sexual avenues don’t pull you in. I also recommend it if you follow mostly cute animal accounts because they are the only ones who cannot hurt you.

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