Maybe He’s Been Stuck in an Elevator Shaft For The Past Two Weeks? And Other Reasons Why He Isn’t Texting You Back

You’ve just met a seemingly awesome guy at your local bar and things are going flawlessly. You’ve been texting nonstop and have plans to hang out once he gets back from his family Outward Bound experience. But suddenly, he stops responding to all of your ‘goodnights’ and ‘good mornings’ and you’re left wondering what happened? But don’t worry, we have compiled a list of reasons why he isn’t texting you back, because there’s NO WAY he’s doing this on purpose.


He’s been stuck in an elevator shaft

This seems like a very plausible excuse for why he isn’t returning any of your texts, calls, facetimes, or Gchats. People get stuck in elevators all the time and can go unfound for weeks at a time. Instead of worrying that you did something wrong, pray that he will make it out alive in time for the Ed Sheeran concert you bought him a ticket for.


His phone fell down a sewer grate

This happens all the time! He could’ve been opening the snapchat you sent him of you half naked and he was just so excited, his Andriod fell right between the cracks of the sewer grate. He really wanted to replace his phone, but he’s probably saving up to visit his sick grandmother in Salt Lake City!


He’s been inducted into the Witness Protection Program

Ever since you met him at that craft beer room, you knew he had an air of mystery about him. Even though he works in finance and is probably the most boring person in the western hemisphere, he could’ve gotten mixed up in some dangerous business and was advised not to reach out to anyone. Think of it this way: he is trying to protect you.


He died

Really sad, but maybe he was in a freak yachting accident and passed suddenly. There would be no way to know, since he hasn’t accepted any of your social media follower requests, but we’re hoping for your sake this is the case. Definitely try to get invited to the funeral!


He’s not that interested and didn’t want to make things awkward so he just ghosted you

THIS IS DEFINITELY NOT THE CASE. You are amazing and whoever told you this is a terrible, cruel friend.

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