My Self Care Routine? I Run Away From My Problems Until I Have To Assume a New Identity Entirely

Everyone always says to me, “Emma, how do you do it? You’re such an effortless little forest nymph. How do you possibly balance life and all of it’s struggles? How can you possibly find time for self care?” 

And the answer is so simple. I run away from all of life’s problems until I have to assume an entirely new identity, free from the judgment and criticism of everyone I’ve ever met. 

Some women choose to live one complex, layered life and to grow from their hardships. I choose to live several small lives until I implode and devise a whole Gone Girl sitch. My birth name isn’t even Emma. It’s Jen! But along my journey to live my best life, I’ve also been Tara, Beth, Stacy, and both of the Olsen twins. 

According to Wikipedia, self-care is considered any necessary human function, so long as it is deliberate and self-initiated. So when I deliberately decide to self-initiate my own destruction, that doesn’t make me “crazy” or “incapable of forming proper human emotions”. It means I’m health conscious!

Some women choose to clean their homes while blasting Celine Dion. Other women choose to binge an entire pizza by themselves. So why am I judged, when all I’m doing is living off the radar in the woods without a social security card? These are all valid forms of self-care!

It’s not the quantity of life that matters, it’s the quality! I’m just the only one smart enough to choose neither. 

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