Nothing is More Important Than Consent, Unless It’s A New Season of ‘Master of None’ 

The only thing I take more seriously than feminism is binge-watching.

 

I am, and always have been, a feminist. Some even call me “woke.” Just about every one of my Tweets is hashtagged #MeToo or #TimesUp. Nothing is more important than consent in sexual situations. Except, of course, a future season of Aziz Ansari’s Netflix show “Master of None.”

I get it. It sounds like Aziz crossed a line –or seven–with that woman. But that was a murky situation, right? What about his life implied he knew better? Other than his stand-up sets focused on how he’s “not one of those guys.” And the book he wrote on modern relationships. And his countless interviews on being a feminist who listens to women’s concerns. And his “Time’s Up!” pin at the Golden Globes. There’s just no way he was aware that what he did was wrong!

Let’s focus on the real issue here: we need a third season of “Master of None” and we need it ASAP! After all, Aziz is an essential voice on the topic of sexual harassment. Remember the brilliant “Master of None” story arc about the seemingly charming Chef Jeff? Women came together and publicly shared their accounts about his sexually inappropriate remarks. Their unity was inspiring! Jeff was held accountable and his TV show was canceled. He deserved to lose his platform! Unlike Aziz, who needs to churn out new episodes about dining at overpriced restaurants and pressuring a woman he barely knows to leave her fiancé. He really nails the zeitgeist!

I don’t believe in victim blaming or justifying sexually coercive behavior. Unless doing so means there’s a chance Aziz will make another season of “Master of None.” Sure, he said months ago he might not even write a season three. But are we really going to let this whole lack of consent thing get in the way of the possibility? What if his character Dev heads back to Italy for another round of pasta-making school? We can’t miss that!

No means no! Unless we’re talking about Aziz, that is. In his case, no means maybe. Sure, if a “Big Bang Theory” actor behaved like Aziz, I’d call for immediate cancellation of the show and all his future projects. That show jumped the shark a long time ago. But this is Aziz’s show we’re talking about here! He’s a self-proclaimed male feminist! The only one qualified to speak on issues affecting women today!

Plus, did you read Aziz’s accuser’s full account? She said he told her all about a secret project he’s working on! What if the secret project is SEASON THREE?! We can’t let a silly thing like a woman feeling manipulated by a powerful Hollywood man get in the way of that!

Women’s voices are being heard for once. I support this 100 percent. I genuinely believe #MeToo is the most important movement out there… unless it threatens season three of “Master of None,” in which case it can pause for a few years.

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