So You And Your Mom Switched Bodies And There’s No Way She Didn’t Notice Your Nipple Piercings: Now What?

This past Friday, you and your family headed out to your local Chinese restaurant. You don’t always see eye to eye with your mom, so of course you got into a meaningless argument over dinner. Mid-argument, the owner of the restaurant came to the table and presented you and your mom each with a fortune cookie. The two of you stormed off to separate bathrooms to eat the cookies, as one does, and the next thing you knew you’d switched bodies! The worst part of the whole situation is that the week before you’d secretly gotten your nipples pierced, knowing your mom would not approve. There’s no way she hasn’t noticed in the days you’ve been switched. Now what?

First of all, you have to accept that this is going to change your relationship. You aren’t going to have the same mother-daughter relationship you used to. Now it’s a mother-who-knows-about-her-daughter’s-nipple-piercing relationship. It’s different. She’s going to assume that you’re having sex, and she’s also going to assume it’s kinky sex. This is something she would expect from “that girl Kelsey who wears too much makeup,” but not from you.

You need to be thankful for the things she can’t tell while you’re still switched. Like, there’s no way she can tell you tried Molly at Blake’s party last month, right? Probably not. How could she? So who cares if she knows you’re a little bit freaky and you got your nips pierced? That’s hardly the worst thing you’ve done.

Realize this means she’s probably going to tell your grandma, so the holidays might be weird this year. Just like you turn to your mom for advice, she goes to her mom. It’s what daughters do. So yeah, since she’s clearly noticed your bedazzled nipples, she’s going to consult her mom. As you pass your grandma the mashed potatoes this holiday, she may ask, “So sweetheart, are all of your friends piercing their nipples too? Is this what the boys like nowadays? In my day we just hiked up our skirts and shaved our knees.” Don’t let it phase you. Try to laugh it off – you know your little cousins sitting next to you will get a good laugh out of it!

Relationships can become strained after switching bodies with a parent. In this instance, your mom found out something you were never planning on sharing with her, or at least not until you were like 35 and your infant son was asleep upstairs and you’d both had a few glasses of wine. But she knows now, and you can’t change that. This doesn’t mean things between you two can’t return to semi-normal, it’s just going to take some work. But she’s your mom, and you only get one of those, so it’s definitely worth the work. Who knows? She may end up wanting to pierce her nipples too!


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