This 90s Throwback Store Is So Realistic You Can Almost Hear Your Mom Saying ‘Hollister is For Hookers, We’re Going to Target’

Wow! We found it! The Ultimate 90s boutique. This vintage spot has literally everything you could possibly remember from your 90s adolescence, so much so that around every corner your mother’s exasperated voice prates in your ear “Absolutely not, Hollister is for hookers, we’re going to Target.”

Along the wall there are short denim skirts and True Religion jeans, expertly frayed with 140$ care. Below them is a rack of those black wedge-ish sandals with the fabric strip over the top, you know the ones I’m talking about. And as you slowly reach out your hand for one of the black chokers hanging on the rack, your mother’s voice echoes through the store “Oh Jesus Christ are you turning into one of the goths now?” The realism is truly uncanny.

The clearance rack is full of personal doorbells shaped like monkeys, frogs, and stars – not to be confused with the glow in the dark stars for your bedroom ceiling. They’re haphazardly arranged next to the earring holders shaped like cheerleading megaphones but if you turn around, there’s a gorgeous display of hair crimpers and fake-hair scrunchies. They even have the black one with blue streaks! As soon as you lay eyes on it, a chill runs up your spine as the voice of the woman that raised you coughs disapprovingly “You have beautiful hair. And you have plenty of it why do you need more who knows where that stuff comes from.”  They really pulled out all the stops on this one.

The checkout counter has every Backstreet Boys CD and Olsen Twins DVD ever created. They even have Our Lips Are Sealed! The Australia one! You smile to yourself and feel the hairs on your neck wave in the breeze from your mother’s violent head shake. “Those girls. I feel bad for those girls. They never got a real childhood. I hope they turn out okay.”

If you want a legit throwback to a time when things were simpler and your every attempt to follow trends was met with “look I know it feels important to be cool but you still live in my house”- don’t hesitate to stop in today!

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