This New Lotion Totally Changed My Life—Oh My God, What Is Happening With Russia Today?!

I received Le Meu’s new lotion early Sunday afternoon. At first, I was a little skeptical about throwing off my tried and true beauty routine. However, for the sake of the internet (hey you guys!) and in the spirit of discovery, I decided to try it.

Holy shit, this Russia stuff is insane!

I woke up on Monday morning dreading the cold weather and how stiff and dry I knew my skin would be. Then, I remembered my new moisturizer. I groaned a little bit, reluctant to have my whole Monday (always a tough day at the office for me) hinge on a new lotion. What if I dried out before 3 PM?

Wait, he can’t ACTUALLY fire Mueller, right?

Even with my packed meeting schedule in mind, I decided to just go for it and applied the new lotion in place of my standard old reliables. How would I know if I never tried?

There is RESOUNDING evidence of our President (the president of the United States of AMERICA!!!!!) abusing his power to obstruct a criminal investigation, one that the GOP is also undermining with ridiculous conspiracy theories in order to distract and confuse the general public.

I got to work and everyone immediately started complimenting me, saying I had a “pep in my step” and “was glowing!” Not to brag, but after sloughing all of that dried skin off my face with the lotion’s (surprise!) built in exfoliating properties, I did feel physically and mentally better.

We are slowly spiraling toward a complete constitutional crisis in which democracy is being threatened and picked away at bit by bit.

Backtracking a bit: damn, this packaging is nice! The lotion came in a tiny, baby pink box. I’m saving mine to put little odds and ends gifts in. Not like a birthday gift but like a, ‘I noticed you’ve been down lately’ kind of thing. Pro tip: try to gift a simple something to a hard working gal pal in your life at least once a week. If you wake up 10 minutes earlier every morning, you’ll get it done without even noticing!

American institutions are being systematically dismantled as we speak.

Around 4:45 PM I decided to leave the office early, happy with the content I was able to create and the meetings I’d had. To be honest, this day started out pretty stressful and I wasn’t really looking forward to disrupting my routine, but my hands and face stayed locked and loaded with moisturizer all day.

Donald Trump and his administration are waging an all out war on empirical data and facts.

All in all, I might not add this lotion to my daily routine (there was some streaking and unevenness with my current foundation) but I will keep it around for those cold winter days when dryness is inevitable (and of course, those particularly gloomy Mondays!)

The truth is indiscernible. 2 + 2 = 5.

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