Wow! Woman Doesn’t Have Time To Read But Was Able to Find Years Worth of Bachelorette Contestants On LinkedIn

Beth Chandler, 27, often struggles to find time for herself in between her bustling day job writing copy for tampon boxes, taking care of her shelter dog, and pausing Kayla Itsines’ Bikini Body Guide Workout after 3 minutes. With such a full plate, her to-read pile keeps growing at her bedside table. But against all odds, Beth has found the time to access twelve years worth of Bachelorette contestants’ LinkedIn profiles.

Last night at 4 am, Beth set her can of LaCroix down on a stack of unread novels while gasping over the fact that Tiffany K. went to state school.

After taking an instagram story of her overflowing bookshelves, captioned “too many books, not enough time ;(“, Beth was shocked to find that Lauren B., Lauren K., Lauren W., Lauren Z., Lauren S., and Lauren N. had all worked as receptionists in their dads’ dental offices.

“It’s amazing how words can bring together people of different backgrounds,” she gushed. “Who would have thought that women from so many different seasons would have so much in common?”

When asked if she had any plans to open up a book from the stack on her floor, like The Handmaid’s Tale, she shared, “Unfortunately no, but I hope to start the Hulu series as soon as I find out how Kelly Q. found the funding for her Etsy jewelry line.”
She was last spotted this morning on the subway with Roxane Gay’s Bad Feminist on her lap, muttering under her breath about Grace G.’s short-lived time as Chief Marketing Officer at Big Big American Bank.

“She gave it all up for love, she gave it all up for love.”

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *